Josh and I are getting married. In 44 days.
Woah.
The more that I think about it the more I realize that I don’t know what I’m doing. And I wonder, does anybody?
I find that in so much of life these days I don’t know what I’m doing. I like to have control, but situations seem to pop up like wildfire where I have no control. I get out the fire hose and try to drown out the flames but often times with no success. Situations with work (praise Jesus, it’s summer!), grad school, moving out of my apartment, money, friends, and family quickly become seemingly unmanagable and I have to stop. I wonder how God expects me to keep walking through the day to day with so many unknowns still trusting him and still being His follower, pointing others to who He is.
A few weeks ago the pastor doing our premarital counseling reminded Josh and I of Agustine’s prayer, “Give what You command, and command what You will”. This keeps coming back to me.
God commands us to do so many things. The greatest of which is to love one another like He loves us. Um, I don’t know about you, but that’s a hard one for me! However, Agustine’s prayer reminds us that not only does God have the power to command whatever He wants, but He also is gracious enough to give what He commands. He alone gives us the strength to do His will. We just have to ask Him to give it. It’s only by His grace that we can love like He loves and walk through this life with the confidence that only having Jesus’ blood covering our sin can bring.
He WILL command. But He will also walk alongside us through it all.
Anyway, just some thoughts from me. Please pray for Josh and I as we prepare for a life together. I’m very excited to become his wife and learn even more about who God is through my relationship with Josh.
<3
